Saturday, October 20, 2012

Learning to Love The Stage We Are In

I have so many good memories of my boys when they were little.  They are only 22 months apart, so they really grew up together.  I loved watching them become the best of friends.  They still are today.  I loved taking them to the local library story hour and to the park for picnic lunches afterwards.  I miss having Disney's "Peter Pan" playing daily on the VCR.  I miss my kids being in diapers and dressing them in cute baby and toddler clothes.  I also know those times were filled with lots of things I was probably wishing away at the time.  I do remember longing for the day when I didn't have to buy diapers or pull ups at the store each week.  I remember longing for the day when each of my 3 kids would sleep through the night.  It seemed like we are always wishing for the next stage.  Looking back, the thing I wish I had done more of was savor the stage we were in more at the time.  I do have sweet memories of nursing each of my kids.  I always enjoyed the 6am feeding.  I was awake enough that I was able to enjoy looking into their eyes more while the house was quiet.  I remember funny things they each use to do.  Funny how the toys all over the floor and messy meal times and dirty diapers don't really cross your mind when you look back.
With all the good memories, I wouldn't skip the stage we are in now and go back even if I could.  My oldest is 14, a teenager.  My middle one is 12 and my youngest one is 7.  I don't have "babies" anymore.  But the other day after picking up my oldest from an academic team meet, he and I had an intellectual conversation about education today.  Not something I ever talked to him about when he was 4.  I love talking with my kids and seeing what they think about things.  They are pretty smart kids and I couldn't be more impressed with their thoughts and views on life.  I am really enjoying this stage.  Are there things about teenagers that are driving me crazy...yes.  Every time I see an eye roll out of the corner of my eye, I want to scream and sometimes I do.  When they sass me, I have to refrain from loosing it and remind them that they will never be that big.  But I have a feeling that when they fly this nest, I won't dwell on that but remember with fondness the conversations and the hugs they still need from me when no one is looking.  My daughter who is 7 is growing so fast too.  She is also not a "baby" anymore.  Though, being the youngest, she stayed there a little longer.  But I love watching her learn to read and ace her math work, (something I never did).  I love watching her play with her brothers or her guys as she calls them.  I miss holding the sweet baby that she was.  It is a little different with her because she was so sick as a baby that there are parts I wouldn't wish to go back to because she was in pain with some of it and I would still wish to move past that quickly.  We know the issues now and how to avoid the pain and know how to handle anaphylaxic and how to avoid it.  For that, I am glad we are past that scary time.  But I miss her wild hair when she would wake up and jump in her crib and the way she would squeal when she saw her guys in the pick up line at school.  But this stage is a good one too and I am working very hard to be present in it.  Because one thing I have learned,  is it will pass in a blink of an eye. And I don't want to miss a thing.

a picture of my "babies" on a very fun week long camping trip back in  '08 or '09

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